Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A Few Words of Advice

IF...

say...

...you have a few spare minutes between arriving downtown from your first job for your second, an occasional gig phone-calling for polls on local politacal campaigns...

...and IF you're really hungry and know you won't get a chance to eat until the shift is over at 9... and IF, even though you're meeting Georgia for a drink and food afterwards, you know you'll be hungry before then...

...and IF you know better but once, just-this-once long to give into your craving for fast food, because really you've been pretty healthy lately and is one burger and some fries really all that bad? Especially if you only eat about 3/4 of it?...

...and IF you'd rather not find yourself awake at 4:15am with a piercing pain in your stomach and an overwhelming sense of nausia, which is scarier in itself than being sick because you hate the anticipation of vomiting more than almost anything in the world, you have always put it off until the last second and you just can't hold back anymore...

...and IF it's not your idea of fun to sit up for hours moaning and holding your belly on the bathroom floor (ew), trying to read to distract yourself but only feeling sicker at the sight of text, until it finally passes and you curl up fetally in bed and sleep until 9:30 in the morning, and drag yourself into work looking pallid and dead...

...then I'd advise you not to go with Burger King. It's just a bad idea.

3 comments:

rachel said...

yikes! gross! that is tragic. I'm sorry that happened to you.

although...Beth and I recently gave into cheap-lazy-hungryness and went to the big BK, and we came out all right...but then I had a nutritious fish sandwich, surely full of omega-3 fatty acids! as it was basically what I imagine a fatty acid to literally look and taste like.

Fred said...

I knew by the end of the first paragraph it was Burger King - truly the High-Holy Monarch of Junkfood nastiness. I was tempted once recently, and although my stomach survived, I was so overwhelmingly unsatisfied that I just wanted to cry. Next time go with Wendy's. Nasty but not NASTY.

Jessie said...

Yeah, Wendy's would have been five-star compared to this; sadly BK was the only one whose location fit the time crunch. Actually, though I avoid Wendy's too, I sometimes get such intense cravings for their Spicey Chicken sandwich that I have to forcefully march in the other direction. Unless I give in. Mmm...